"So, what exactly IS feminism?"

Hi guys! Remember me talking about getting more involved and emailing the women's officer at uni? Well today I went to a meeting held by the women's network! Met a few lovely and interesting people, heard some great ideas and shared a couple of my own thoughts. There's quite a few opportunities this week for me to start doing more, and I'm actually pretty excited! Several things to do on campus this week, a panel on women in the media and lots of great plans for the future. One of the things this week includes the launch of a magazine created by women across several campuses, that anyone can contribute to. I'd already planned and started a post about what I think feminism is (as I've had several people ask me), and decided to send that off for consideration for the magazine after I'd finished it - why not! But I'm also putting it here, since that's what it was for in the first place :) I've sort of covered this on here before (and reused a bit of a past post), but maybe I didn't say enough or I didn't say it in the right way. So here we go!:

Do you believe men and women were created equal?
Do you believe every person has the right to choose what happens to their body and when?
Do you believe a woman should make the same amount of money as a man, for the same amount of work?
Do you believe every women should have the choice of whether or not to get married and have children; and not have to give up a career to do so?

If you answered yes to these questions, congratulations! You're a feminist!

Since starting this blog, I've had several discussions with the women in my life about what feminism is. Those conversations have started with quite a few of them saying "I've been reading your blog, and it's interesting, but I'm not really even sure what feminism is". Hearing that surprised me, until I reminded myself that until very recently I was just as clueless.
Last year, a male friend at uni asked me if I would call myself a feminist. I said that "while I obviously agree with a lot of aspects of feminism, I wouldn't call myself one." He didn't understand why not. Evidently, neither did I. Over the next several months up until now, I regularly pondered that and looked into this whole "feminism" thing, getting more and more angry about how much it's ignored. About how I didn't even understand it enough, at 19, to realize that it's awful hard to be a woman and not be a feminist.
So what exactly is a feminist?
When people hear the word "feminist", they tend to think of intimidating women protesting about how men rule the world and its time women take over. But most of us don't want to take over the world - we just want to change it, and make sure our future daughters will be born into a world that supports them, protects them, values them and respects them. We want to guarantee that when our daughter tries to become a doctor, an astronaut, a lawyer, a scientist, an artist - she won't be looked over because she's a woman. We want to guarantee that our daughters will not have to grow up scared of men, and that if they ever need to they can stand up for others and protect themselves. We want our sons to grow up to be feminists - with a respect for women, a desire to make them feel safe and a willingness to stand up to anyone that threatens them.
"Feminism is the radical notion that women are people." (Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler)
In plain and simple terms, feminism is the idea that women deserve choices. That only we are allowed to define ourselves and our place in society. Only we get to make decisions about what we do with our lives and our bodies. We get to say what we want from life and then go get it! Feminism is about the freedom to be ourselves. It's about helping other women be happy, independent and strong. It's about putting women into positions of authority to ensure that only those with vaginas and wombs get to make laws and rules about vaginas and wombs. It's about creating equal access to education, careers and medical information and services; providing protective and legal services to women in need; and ensuring a woman's right to feel safe no matter where she is.
While we have a lot more choices than we used to, and are largely free to do with our lives what we will, there are still many obstacles. A woman can become almost anything she wants, but she certainly has to work harder for it. And even once she's made her choices, she will still be less respected than a man in her position. Every woman faces disrespect every day. I strongly believe that our generation's 'version' of feminism needs to include a focus on changing how the world sees us in social contexts, on an every day basis. We need to demand the respect of our friends, coworkers, family members, partners, and bosses.
There's a dire need in our society to erase the negative connotations surrounding the word "feminism" and replace it with the basic idea that started it: that women are equal to men, and need to be treated as such. That getting paid equally, having the same opportunities, not allowing anyone else to define you, belittle you or have a say in what happens to your body are the most important things we need to make happen. Accomplishing this will take more than just "radical women" fighting for their rights; instead, it will take every woman, and every man that values and respects women

You're Fantastic!

You can't appreciate how much you've grown, 

Once you've forgotten the ground."

 -Lacey Roop: The Gravity of Stars 

(which happens to be on my blog already, here: http://the-things-that-really-matter.blogspot.com.au/p/support.html)

Today I'm talking about growth and healing, and how sometimes we need to remind ourselves just how fantastic we are! There has been a reoccurring theme in my life lately of remembering how far you've come and using that to motivate yourself to keep going, and to feel some pride in who you are. 

I consider myself a part of a certain community, where healing from things is the main topic of conversation and the goal of everyone there. Bettering yourself, bettering your life, bettering your attitudes is something we all strive for. Recently a friend from that community wrote about how she has changed in recent years, and how much she loves those changes! She talked about how much she liked certain new aspects of herself that wouldn't have been there if her life hadn't gone a certain way. She mentioned things she still isn't as confident about, but that all of it - the good bits and the not-as-good bits - are all a part of her, and that the whole is something to be proud of, something to love. And I agree! She's one of the most unique, compassionate and strongest people I've come across and I'm truly happy she's found these strengths in herself!

 "I'm a completely different person. And I love it...I respect myself more. I am completely and utterly floored by this realisation. And overjoyed...I hope you guys get here too one day, if you aren't. It's great! Don't despair, as I did, because it will happen. For those of you who are already there - I am glad to finally join you!"

I've also thought about this in relation to myself. I've thought about how far I've come in learning to live with and handle the illnesses I have. Having said that, I'm not as great now as I was around January last year - but I'm a long ways from being too exhausted to do anything other than shower and move from my room to the couch; I'm a lot better than when I was the day I walked from my car to the door of a shopping centre and had to sit for a few minutes to stop myself from fainting. 

Illnesses aside, I've changed in other ways from other things, too. There were some major events in my life last year and even now, just a few months later, I can already think of things that are better, things that are just a tiny bit easier. They're small changes, but they're there. 

Within that aforementioned community, someone else was talking about a hopeless feeling of never progressing, never moving forward. That old idea that as soon as you move a few inches, a huge wave comes and pulls you back to where you started. I suggested she write down what things are like in detail now, then store that somewhere she won't really look for a few months or even a year. Then in time write a new version and compare the two. Lately I've been thinking I should follow my own advice :P Like the quote I began with says, it's awful hard to see how far you've come if you forget where you started. 

This ties into so many things. People talk about racism, sexism, discrimination: yes, it's bad. Yes, we need to make changes. But it used to be worse. Enough people are seeing how wrong things are and joining together to make those changes. People's attitudes are changing, people's ideas of what our society should be like are changing, people are starting to see where we've gone wrong in the past and how we should fix it for the future. And I for one have so much hope for our future. I have a lot of hope in the shifts being made by feminists and equality activists. I have a lot of hope for changing rape culture, and for people getting on board with letting everyone love whoever they want to love. There's reason to hope for more people standing up for others, even when they don't have to. 

Hope isn't enough though if we're not active in making what we hope for happen. I'd really like to get a lot more involved by volunteering (particularly at a women's shelter), and by being more active at uni - just as soon as I figure out how and where :P It's not just about volunteering though. Change happens when we live every day in the way we want the future to pan out.